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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29446014">i'll leave my heart in your hands</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/liquorisce/pseuds/liquorisce'>liquorisce</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>poetry of the heart [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Naruto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, SasuSaku - Freeform, Uchiha Sasuke-centric, blank period - i think, but also emotions, hc: sasuke finds it difficult to tear himself away from his wife, just sasuke and all of his goddamn emotions, naruto knows that sasuke has feelings, there's some sexy stuff in this because i couldn't help myself</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 18:08:40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,866</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29446014</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/liquorisce/pseuds/liquorisce</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The longer he stays, the harder it is for Sasuke to leave.</p><p>// "... If it were still a couple of years ago, she would have insisted that she comes along. </p><p>But things have changed for them now, and even though Sakura is the same woman with enough determination to follow him and demand to stay by his side... they now have Sarada to consider. "//</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Haruno Sakura/Uchiha Sasuke</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>poetry of the heart [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2198250</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>102</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>i'll leave my heart in your hands</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>i just wanted to write sasuke being emo about leaving his wife and child. happy valentine's y'all :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He feels it when Naruto shows up at his door, blue eyes sombre, telling him that Kakashi needed to see him.</p><p> </p><p>"... I need to watch Sarada," he states, trying to ignore the dread that uncoils in his stomach, "... Sakura's shift doesn't end for the next two hours."</p><p> </p><p>"Sasuke," Naruto murmurs, "... I don't think this can wait." His blue eyes linger on Sarada, where she sits on the floor, trying to assemble a tower of blocks taller than her. "... I'll take care of her while you talk to Sensei," he murmurs as he walks past him to say hello to the little girl.</p><p> </p><p>"Sarada-chan," he says, distracting her with his big grin, "... Shall we go say play with Boruto-kun for a while?"</p><p> </p><p>She scrunches up her nose. "... Boruto never shares his toys with me," she begins to complain, as Naruto laughs good-naturedly. "Don't worry, I'll make sure he does," -</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke tunes out the banter behind him as he leaves towards the Hokage office. Despite Naruto's urgency he doesn't rush, he walks at his own pace, taking in the sleepy streets that he's gotten used to over the last two years, because something in the way Naruto spoke makes him suspect he might not be seeing them much longer.</p><p> </p><p>"... You said you needed to see me," he states, opening the door to Kakashi's office without knocking, ignoring Shikamaru's annoyance at being interrupted.</p><p> </p><p>"... Ah sorry, Shikamaru, do you mind if I speak to Sasuke privately?"</p><p> </p><p>...</p><p> </p><p>He finds Naruto waiting for him outside when he is finished with Kakashi.</p><p> </p><p>"Hinata's making dinner for the kids," he says, hands in his pockets, blue eyes looking at Sasuke anxiously. "How'd it go with Sensei?"</p><p> </p><p>"You clearly know about the mission already, so why bother asking?"</p><p> </p><p>Naruto winces at the sharpness in Sasuke's tone. "... Sasuke," -</p><p> </p><p>"The leads we've been following up on have some truth to them, after all. The Otsutsuki will be back, it's just a matter of time."</p><p> </p><p>"When do you need to leave?"</p><p> </p><p>"Tomorrow morning."</p><p> </p><p>The silence hangs heavy in the air, and Sasuke, unlike Naruto, doesn't care to interrupt it.</p><p> </p><p>"It doesn't just have to be you alone, you know," he's speaking fast, and Sasuke knows him well enough to hear the guilt in his voice, "I can pick up from where you've left off in a couple of months, you don't need to," -</p><p> </p><p>"And? You intend on traveling through dimensions to find these monsters, as long as I pass you the leads I get?" Sasuke looks at him point blank, "... Is this a new power you've acquired in recent months while you were playing Daddy to your son?"</p><p> </p><p>When Naruto doesn't say anything, he continues, "And sure, I guess I can just press a button whenever I want to come to Konoha and pass on the baton to you. Sounds like a good plan."</p><p> </p><p>The sarcasm in Sasuke's tone is biting, and Naruto doesn't blame him. But regardless, he mumbles, "... But you can tell Sensei, it's not fair to you... Sarada-chan is so small, and this kind of mission... I don't - You don't know how long it will take!"</p><p> </p><p>"You think I don't know that?" Sasuke snaps, "... Some of us don't have the luxury of being asked to stay in the village for 'Hokage-training'," -</p><p> </p><p>"That's not fair," Naruto flares, angrily.</p><p> </p><p>"... I'm a shinobi. And I said would protect this village. I don't intend to go back on my word."</p><p> </p><p>They arrive at Naruto's house and as Hinata goes to get Sarada, Sasuke murmurs, "... Protect them with your life. Promise me."</p><p> </p><p>"Of course!" Naruto says immediately, "... But Sakura-chan's going to get mad if she hears you saying she needs protection..." He laughs, "She's scary, you know?"</p><p> </p><p>"... My wife is perfectly capable of getting through any situation," Sasuke says simply, as he sees Sarada waddling to the door, her grin large and gleeful (just like her mother's) having grabbed one of the cookies that Hinata baked for her, "... But she shouldn't have to be in those situations in the first place."</p><p> </p><p>...</p><p> </p><p>Sakura returns home, tired after a 12-hour turned 14- hour shift, to find her daughter passed out on her husband's stomach on the couch. "... Sorry, I'm late," she whispers, not wanting to wake Sarada, and dropping a brief kiss on his head. She can sense that Sasuke is awake, despite his lack of a response, but that isn't really out of character, so she proceeds to the bedroom to get changed and take a shower.</p><p> </p><p>Flushed from the hot shower with nothing but a towel around her body, she steps into the bedroom towards her closet only to trip over a small bag. Curiously, she picks it up and looks inside. The contents make her heart lurch.</p><p> </p><p>Spare clothing, scrolls, essentials. Sasuke always packs light.</p><p> </p><p>Before she can confront her racing thoughts, she senses Sasuke's presence right behind her. When she turns to him, she finds herself flush against his chest.</p><p> </p><p>His eyes are unreadable (they usually are) in the dimly lit bedroom, and when he dips lower to catch her lips in a soft kiss, she welcomes the distraction. But when he deepens the kiss - a nip on her lower lip for permission, always, <em>always</em> so polite - she murmurs, "… You're leaving."</p><p> </p><p>He doesn't answer, and she didn't really ask him a question, but she feels him sigh against her lips. "… When?"</p><p> </p><p>"… Tomorrow morning," he murmurs, fingers tracing the tops of her turkey towel, his touch featherlight against her flushed skin.</p><p> </p><p>She looks at him with questions in her eyes, <em>Where will you go, Sasuke-kun? How dangerous is it going to be? How long will you be gone? Why do you have to be the one to go? </em></p><p> </p><p>Of course, she'd want to know what it was about. Of course, mission details are meant to be classified... Especially something of this magnitude. <em>Of course,</em> he wanted to tell her anyway.</p><p> </p><p>"... Sasuke-kun..."</p><p> </p><p>He sighs. "... It's more of the same, Sakura. What we faced in the War - it isn't over yet." But she knew that already.</p><p> </p><p>And if it were still a couple of years ago, she would have insisted that she comes along.</p><p> </p><p>But things have changed for them now, and even though Sakura was the same woman with enough determination to follow him and demand to stay by his side... they now have Sarada to consider.</p><p> </p><p>So, she doesn't ask her questions out loud. Instead, she states her assumptions. And if her voice quivers, she does her best to hide it. "... So, I guess you don't know how long you'll be gone?"</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke doesn't say anything, and she didn't think he would anyway, so she continues, "... And this mission is dangerous and difficult enough that Kakashi Sensei specifically asked you?" She inhales, "Even though, it's peace time and half of our Shinobi force is in need of a job..."</p><p> </p><p>"... I don't have answers for you, Sakura." And he really wishes he did, because he knows he'll leave and face whatever it is he'll need to face, but she'll be here, with no assurance, and only worry to keep her company.</p><p> </p><p>She plops on to the bed, and her face betrays her dejection, her soft features crumpling. "... I guess I was getting kind of spoilt, huh?" She smiles, bleak, "... Having you by my side for so long, now... It got me believing this would actually be our life."</p><p> </p><p>It's a simple thing that she utters, but it shakes him, because the lone avenger, the solo agent that he used to be, is no more. He hasn't been without her for the last 3 years almost, and he's begun to take her presence for granted.</p><p> </p><p>He sees the tear rolling down her face, and he's by her side, cupping her face and wiping it away before the next one forms, cursing to himself because he has come to loathe that expression on her face, and loathes himself even more for somehow always managing to cause it.</p><p> </p><p>"... If you don't want me to go, then you can say it." The words are out of his mouth, barely a soft whisper, before he realizes it. It's a small plea (without real consequence), and it makes him realize how much he wants her to say it, like the times she has tried to stop him leaving in the past, only this is probably the first time he would actually stay for her.</p><p> </p><p>She laughs, through her tears. "Of course, I don't want you to go, Sasuke-kun." Her fingers twine into his, "... But I can't stop you," - and even though Sasuke winces at the sentiment behind that statement, he knows Sakura isn't referring to the past at all - "... I know this is to protect us. To protect Konoha. To do your duty. And I have no right," -</p><p> </p><p>He kisses her before she can finish her sentence. In part, because he just wants to hold her close to him, and also because he doesn't want to hear her say that she doesn't have the right to ask him for anything. "... You're my wife," he reminds her, a soft murmur on her lips, "It's your right to demand more of me."</p><p> </p><p>And in that moment the irrational part of him reminded him that it wasn't impossible - she could ask him to stay and he <em>would… </em>other ninjas did it. They prioritized their families, and he could too.</p><p> </p><p>But Sakura's love wasn't demanding, it was giving, and that's all she'd ever asked him for, to be able to give him her love, to stand by his side, to make him happy.</p><p> </p><p>And she knows the vows he's made in his heart, and that he will honour it, no matter the moments of weakness that pass by him.</p><p> </p><p>So she kisses him back, winding her hands into his dark, unruly hair and pressing herself closer to him. "... Sarada and I will wait for you, Sasuke-kun."</p><p> </p><p>"I'm sorry," he breathes, apologizing <em>again, </em>a multitude of apologies in two words, that only Sakura can understand and accept, kissing her fervently.</p><p> </p><p>He hadn't intended to take her to bed that night, she is tired from work, and he has to leave early, but he finds himself hooking his fingers into her towel and unwrapping her body to him. Sakura's fingers ease him out his shirt first, and his trousers second, and when he lays her on the bed beneath him, and sinks into her embrace, the feeling of her bare body pressed against him burns against his skin, imprinting itself into his mind.</p><p> </p><p>He kisses all the little parts of her body, the nooks, and curves that he's grown to love, the little pieces that make up <strike>Haruno</strike> Uchiha Sakura. He takes his time with her, pretending in that moment that they do have time, all the time in the world, for him to taste the different ways her body tells him she's excited, for her to respond enthusiastically, dipping low and using her mouth to please him.</p><p> </p><p>He makes love to his wife tenderly, achingly slow and filled with passion, until he is rewarded by the sight of her under him, lost to her pleasure, spent and sobbing his name.</p><p> </p><p>In the moments after when he's catching his breath, the scent of sweat and sex surrounding them, Sakura has a sated smile on her face and whispers that she loves him, so very much.</p><p> </p><p>She says it happily, and he's grateful for it because he knows how many times he's heard her say it with pain in her voice, begging and pleading to him to stay with her, and he'd promised himself a long time ago that she'd never sound like that ever again.</p><p> </p><p>He wants to say it back, but pretty words don't come as easy to him as it does to Sakura, so the words catch in his throat, constrained by all these <em>feelings </em>that take over him, without warning.</p><p> </p><p>He'd known he would miss her terribly since the moment Kakashi told him there was "a mission", but it suddenly hits him that he isn't going to hear her i-love-yous or feel her warm hugs, or her sasuke-kuns and anatas thrown at him whenever she feels like it, whenever she wants to show her love. He wouldn't hear her voice for days and months, and maybe even years, and the loneliness grips him instantly, before he even leaves her.</p><p> </p><p>And because he's reminded that she's still right next to him (by her fingers intertwined softly with his), he kisses her again, but this time greedily. He wants to take the feeling of her, the sweet pressure of her against him, her taste and her smell, along with him to keep him company. He spreads her legs for him before she can catch her breath, his fingers stroke up and down her folds, only to find her wet and sticky with his own release from a moment ago.</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke doesn't care for it, and Sakura doesn't protest (she likes it when he demands so much from her) and slips into her, groaning from the heat, from the tight pressure, the blissful feeling of being inside of her. He fucks her this time, hard and unrelenting, lifting her legs onto his shoulder and angling himself as deep as he can possibly get. And when that isn't enough for him, he flips her over, onto her knees, taking the smallest second to appreciate the sight in front of him before thrusting into her.</p><p> </p><p>There's a desperation with which he takes her this time, she recognises it and she wants to  soothe him, whisper into his mouth that it'll be okay, but right now her mind is blank, and the only thing that spills from her lips are mindless noises urging him to fuck her harder.</p><p> </p><p>"I want to hear you," he murmurs roughly, as he pauses his punishing pace, breath warm against the back of her neck. He doesn't really know what he wants to hear, but Sakura knows what he likes, so she doesn't bother restraining herself any longer, and when he drives into her and makes her lose her mind with feeling, she tells him how good he feels, buried inside her, gasping. And after she's come twice and told him how sensitive she is, he squeezes her breast roughly from behind and mumbles, "… I'm gonna come." And she coaxes it out of him, moving her hips back to meet his thrusts, cooing his name, begging him to come inside her, and fill her up, until he <em>does</em>.</p><p> </p><p>"... I love you," he pants harshly against her skin, thankful that the words have been pulled out of him, because he needs her to hear them. Because he doesn't want to leave her with any doubt of that, unlike every time he has left her in the past.</p><p> </p><p>This time he wants to leave her with the promise that he will be back… that even while he is away he will think of her, and dream of her, and <em>love</em> her.</p><p> </p><p>...</p><p> </p><p>In the morning, he wakes up Sarada even though it's too early for her, because he wants to say goodbye.</p><p> </p><p>But she's barely two years old, and doesn't really comprehend it when Sakura tells her, "Sarada-chan, Papa will be going away for a while."</p><p> </p><p>She falls asleep in Sakura's arms after blinking up at him and saying "Come back soon, Papa," and because Sasuke isn't much of a talker and doesn't really know what to say to her, he just smiles softly at the sight of his daughter sleeping in her mother's arms.</p><p> </p><p>Sakura walks him to the central gates as he gets ready to leave.</p><p> </p><p>He clears his throat. "... If she asks about me" -</p><p> </p><p>"Not <em>if</em>, Sasuke-kun, <em>of course</em> she will ask about you, you're her <em>Papa</em>" -</p><p> </p><p>"... Tell her the good things, Sakura."</p><p> </p><p>Sakura looks at him, green eyes honestly surprised to hear this from him. He doesn't know what these good things are, to be honest, but Sakura has never had trouble seeing them, so he wants selfishly, for his daughter to hear nothing else about him.</p><p> </p><p>There will be a time for truth and Sasuke hopes that he will be back home for that, for Sarada to hear everything from him.</p><p> </p><p>"Sasuke-kun, why are you behaving like the world is going to end?" She teases, "You're just going on a mission. I know you'll be back soon."</p><p> </p><p>Sighing, he realizes he might as well go along with Sakura's attempt to keep this lighthearted. Her green eyes are steely and resolute, and so full of love, he is reminded that she really is the braver of the two of them... and always has been.</p><p> </p><p>In any case, they'd discussed this already last night, and reality will soon be along to remind them of their distance. "You're right, just a casual mission where I beat up the Otsutsuki mob, and come back in time for dinner, I guess." His lips quirk up into a smile, as he pulls closer to tap her forehead. "See you soon then, Sakura."</p><p> </p><p>And as he turns to leave, he commits the sight of his wife to memory, faint blush on her cheeks, smiling eyes, and their sleeping daughter nestled in her strong, loving arms.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i've seen a lot in this fandom, read a lot of fanfic and metas and opinions that think Sasuke showing emotions is OOC. imho, pretty much all of naruto was about sasuke being an emo brat and showing his emotions quite blatantly. i think older sasuke is definitely more controlled, but i still think emotions are the core of Sasuke's character. He is a gorgeous, emotional guy who is crazy about his partner and his family, and also emotionally attached to his ideals and his vows. So if you made it this far, did you think Sasuke was OOC in this fic? I personally don't, but let me know what you think! :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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